Saturday, December 08, 2007
well.....it has certainly been a week full of emotions....
first off...
daniel's fren from church passed away just last wednesday.... i dun really noe him on a personal level,but it is rather sad that he has left us so suddenly and so young. he's 35 this year. a man in his prime, i wld say....
i went for his wake on thurs n fri.. and for funeral mass today. and it is so so so so saddening. especially funeral mass today..
the sudden departure of this dear fren to many made me wonder abt death and abt the ppl we all take for granted everyday. during mass today,
Father Luke mentioned that it is only when the person passed on, do we rmb the goodness of him, which has probably been there all these while, but ignored by us all.. and i cant help but admit tt its true. and yes, i am one of the guilty ones.
while we are all human and are all prone to times of self-indulgences, it somehow irks me to think of all my frens i've neglected and lost contact with all these while. ppl who mean alot to me once, but whose presence are somewat dimmed..
it is true that ppl walk in and out of your life and only true frens leave footprints in ur heart. so cliche? but it is probably the truest of all sayings i've heard so far in my life. after walking 20 years of my life, thus far, the ppl i've met are countless! and the ppl i remained in contact with are many. yet the ppl who hold a special place in my heart and ppl whom i turn to in times of need are only a handful.
now, im not complaining tt i have too little frens to confide in.. i am thankful for the fact tt i still have these ppl in my life, however little we kept in contact. its amazing how little we meet up, but when we do, we talk nineteen to the dozen!
thinking back on the demise of
mr maxx, almost 3 years ago... it brought back the fact tt we take each moment of our life for granted. so much so tt it always takes the death of a person, fren or otherwise, to shake us back to reality - that life is so fragile tt any moment, it cld be any one of us lying there. morbid, but true.
all these while, when i was at
colin's wake, it always frighten me to think of his sudden demise and all the close frens he had, who were so wrought with grief - his parents, relatives, colleagues, his church youth groups.... it frightens to me think tt it cld happen to me. that the person lying there.. cld be some1 close to me. inevitably, i thought of my
twin. for obvious reasons known to all who knew her.... i think i was so shaken up by that thought of losing her, or in fact.. any1 of my close frens who walked with me thru the ups and downs of my life..that i actually called her up, just to hear her voice. haha. and it really calms me down after tat. weird eh?;)
but....wat if one of them passed on tml? *touch wood* wld they ever noe tt i loved them?
this brings me to the song sung by
ronan keating -
if tml nv comes. somehow, i feel, love song or not, this song is the most apt to describe the feeling of those who were affected by
colin's death. did he noe how much he was loved? by so many ppl in his life? did these ppl noe how much he loved them? actually, they probably do lah.
i dunno... perhaps death have a way of making ppl more bonded and more generous with their love. i certainly hope tt ppl will not take their lives for granted, nor the ppl ard them. i certainly pray tt i wld now be more grateful for the ppl God blessed me with.
i pray now, for
colin's parents. who were the most affected. pls Lord, give them the strength to go on with their lives, with the knowledge that their beloved son is in heaven, right beside You. i pray too, for
colin's frens. that they will seek solace from you and the same knowledge that he is with You. I pray, for the ppl ard me, strangers and frens and family - that they will be safe. Amen.
somehow, after spending these few days in the company of ppl who knew him.. i guess i feel tt he's my fren too.. it doesnt matter now how much i knew him or not. i guess all tt matters now is the fact tt he is in Jesus' kingdom. he is home now. :)
this has turned out to be a rather emotional post. and i just wanna leave a few shoutouts..
BABY: u dun need words to tell u how much i or ur frens love u. and i am glad, so so so glad.. that u walked into my life. i love u so so much!
PEARL: twinnie. u noe as much as i do how impt u and fang are to me. although we dont meet up often, i still want u to noe tt i love u. and i care abt u. no matter wat happened in ur life, do not hesitate to call me. im always here for u. always rmb tt. always. and take care of ur health! i mean it!
FANG: stupid cow u. haha~ anyhow, bet u wont even read my blog.. but in the off chance that u might just come across this.. i hope u noe tt no matter how many times i cant go for bdays and gatherings, i still love u. and tt for all the gatherings, i do want to be there, just tt i cant make it. but i am always here for u too. as much as im here for pearl and many others. i will always always be here.
CHUNMEI: WOMAN! u are probably the person i met the latest and yet have such a huge impact on me in these few years. we only met like..... 2005? its been 2 years, yet it felt like decades! but the time we know each other doesnt matter. im just glad that u are in my life. :) pls pls take good care of urself. and as i've said to both pearl n fang, im always here for u. ok... no matter wat, come hell or high water, i will do my utmost to be here for u whenever and wherever u need me to. i love u to bits!:) pls take care of urself during the exam period kies. dun overwork and overstress!
TWINS: steph n dot. u both are in bangkok now. enjoying ur hols. haha! my most favouritest cousins and closest cousins. u two are my angels and pls do not forget tt. no matter wat happened, love life, sch life, stupid backstabbing, hypocritical ppl bullying u, dun 4get, ur cousin learnt kungfu and have also unofficially mastered the art of verbally breaking ppl's ego and have also officially won the ms sharp tongue award in the lee family hall of fame. so, same as i've told everyone, i am here for u 2. more so for the both of u cos u're my family. :)
TO EVERYONE ELSE WHOM I HAVE NOT NAMED(due to severe fatigue and utter lack of slp): no matter how i met u, how i've or have not touched ur life, how much or how little i mean to u, pls rmb tt i am here, to lend a shoulder, a listening ear, give a hug, cry with u, bitch with u abt the unreasonable things in life, curse and swear at the injustice of stuffs, go for retail therapy, manicure/pedicure, etc.... i am always here. just a phone call away. :)
i love u all... every1 whom i noe and have walked at least a period of my life with me. i love u.
guess death have a funny way of making me emo and grateful for the ppl ard me. *shrugs*
nite caps. sweet dreams y'all...
Feel the rhythm of the beat ;
11:40 PM
